Contributed\u00a0by guest author Michael Pitre.<\/i><\/p>\n

In New Orleans, dive bars are called, \u201cbars.\u201d In most cities, \u201cdive bar\u201d denotes a dingy room teeming with unsavory grime, enchanting authenticity, or both. A place where you can hide in the darkness and the details, and feel secure in your own skin. Put another way, it\u2019s a bar that isn\u2019t trying to be cooler than its customers. Aside from a three block stretch of Bourbon Street, which no New Orleanian ever visits (and neither should you), this definition of \u201cdive bar\u201d describes virtually every bar in the city.<\/p>\n

With that caveat, here is a woefully incomplete list of the best bars in New Orleans where the natives will make you feel right at home:<\/p>\n

Parkview Tavern<\/strong><\/h2>\n

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\nHidden in a residential block of Mid-City, Parkview Tavern<\/a><\/strong> belongs to that venerable species of bar which survives changing neighborhood demographics by not changing at all. Seventy-years on, Parkview is still the go-to spot for middle-aged men who need a place to hide at noon on Saturday when they\u2019re supposedly out for a quiet stroll. A massive air-cleaning unit suspended from the ceiling gobbles up cigarette smoke in a grinding hum, metastasizing into an urgent plea for help by early evening. The beer is cold, cheap, and comes in a plastic cup unless you specify otherwise. It\u2019s not a room without pride, though. Every morning, the framed newspapers commemorating Saints and LSU championships are dusted and washed, and whatever atrocities may have transpired the night before, the concrete floor always radiates a sweet smell of pine at the start of a new day.<\/p>\n

Liuzza\u2019s by the Track<\/strong><\/h2>\n

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\nEstablished in 1947 to service the imbibing needs of winners (and losers) shuffling out of the adjacent New Orleans Fairgrounds after a day of playing the ponies, Liuzza\u2019s by the Track<\/a><\/strong> is still the place to go for a hushed tip from an off-duty groom or a weathered old-timer. Liuzza\u2019s also has a legitimate claim to the title of, \u201cColdest Beer in New Orleans,\u201d if not, \u201cColdest Beer Allowable by the Known Laws of God and Nature.\u201d The suds arrive in a frosted goblet aside a fried shrimp po-boy if you\u2019re hungry, which you will be after smelling the kitchen. In springtime, when the fairgrounds are re-purposed to host the annual New Orleans Jazz and Heritage Festival, Liuzza\u2019s overflows its four walls to envelope the intersection of Lopez and Ponce de Leon in a two-week street party. The neighbors never complain.<\/p>\n

Pal\u2019s<\/strong><\/h2>\n

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\nIn the rapidly gentrifying neighborhood of Bayou St. John, where the appearance of running strollers and new Volvos has long-time denizens considering radical relocation across Broad Street, Pal\u2019s Lounge<\/a><\/strong> defiantly offers a last-of-its-kind refuge for grown-ups. The vibe is established in the men\u2019s room, which eschews a baby-changing table in favor wallpaper consisting entirely of Playboy centerfolds from the 1970s. But the ladies aren\u2019t ignored; their special room features Burt Reynolds from his legendary nude spread in Cosmo\u2026 or so I\u2019m told. Ask for cigarettes, and Beth Anne will pack them, open the box, and it slide across the bar with a book of matches tucked in the cellophane. Stop by on Thursday night for a free bowl of jambalaya, and the regulars will tell you how it doesn\u2019t compare to the jambalaya George made before he passed, God rest him. Drop in early on a Saturday afternoon, as I did while researching this piece, and Trent might ask you to help carry in some limes. You\u2019ll get a free drink for your trouble, not that you\u2019d need it to feel at home.<\/p>\n

Molly\u2019s at the Market<\/strong><\/h2>\n

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\nMolly\u2019s at the Market<\/a><\/strong> is the result of late-founder Jim Monaghan\u2019s grand ambition, immortalized under glass near the juke box, \u201cTo get the hobos of out of the gutters and into the bars.\u201d In this, Molly\u2019s has been wildly successfully. The location anchors a block of Decatur Street near the lower end of the French Quarter known through 300 years of uninterrupted infamy as a meeting place for pirates, cut-throats, women of loose morals, and all my best friends. The front room is configured for conversation, with stools and chest-height tables against to the wall opposite the bar. Regulars include an ornery cat named Mr. Woo who arrived during Hurricane Katrina and never left. Don\u2019t try to pet him; he\u2019s still pissed at humans for intruding on the sweet, dry spot he found in the storm. The signature drink at this infamous New Orleans bar is a frozen Irish coffee dispensed from an old ice cream machine that I\u2019d request ahead of water were I ever to come staggering out of the Sahara. Side note: My novel, Fives and Twenty-fives<\/em><\/a>, includes a scene inside Molly\u2019s in which a \u201clittle, blond bartender,\u201d nearly comes to blows with a drunk, Iraq War veteran. I\u2019ve yet to meet a New Orleanian who didn\u2019t know exactly which bartender I was talking about.<\/p>\n

Snake and Jake\u2019s Christmas Club Lounge<\/strong><\/h2>\n

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Attribution: Wikimedia\/Creative Commons\/ Infrogmation, 2006\/ via\/ http:\/\/commons.wikimedia.org\/wiki\/File:SnakeJakesXmasDaytime.jpg<\/p><\/div>\n

Because any list of New Orleans dive bars requires a mention of Snake and Jake\u2019s<\/a><\/strong>, I\u2019ll just say that I once woke up at four in the morning after nodding off on one of their couches. The moment caused me to reconsider my whole life, and immediately arrive at the conclusion that things could be much worse.<\/p>\n

There are many, many more New Orleans bars that welcome visitors without pretension, but these are a few of my favorites. Be sure to check them out on your next visit to The Big Easy.<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/span><\/a><\/span>Michael Pitre is a New Orleans-based author.
\n<\/em>His debut novel, “Fives and Twenty-fives,” was published to world-wide acclaim in 2014, and is based on his experiences as a Marine Corps captain and veteran of the Iraq War.<\/em><\/p>\n

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